Kia ora koutou,

I missed Thursday's meeting so have been catching up with emails & Susan's report on the evening's dynamics.

As far as processing the emotions Thursday evening seemed to have produced, can I suggest two mindfulness exercises which I always find very helpful & clarifying? (if you left feeling neutral & unaffected you can skip this though!). But I'm hoping this will help us all feel clearer & more at peace about it all.

#1 - recall the heated or more difficult periods of Thursday night: what emotion/feeling did you experience? Be as specific as you can ('upset' is not specific :). The more specific you can be, the more helpful you should find this exercise. (I've attached here a list of feelings, as I find this helps me to be specific & to name otherwise elusive emotions).

#2 - now try to name what need in you was not being met or was being thwarted in Thursday's discussion (& the disagreement that swirled around the topic). Nearly all conflict or discomfort is about 'unmet needs' in us. For example - was it the need to be heard, to be valued, to be affirmed, for fairness?, etc etc. Again, I've attached a list (universal needs) which I find helpful when trying to name those things which I sometimes find  elusive or hidden to me. As with #1, the more specific the better .

You can apply this process also to any emails that you have found angst provoking or insomnia invoking.

After you've done 1 & 2 above it is likely you'll feel a lot 'clearer' about what's going on in your head & gut, & with that, feel less angsty. But you might also be thinking, well ok, that was good, but what now....which is something Sander & I would be happy to talk more about sometime. The above is a sliver of the 'empathetic communication model' (NVC) that some of us are very keen on & would be happy to share more of when we get a chance :) :) 

(The above was the self-empathy component)

Hope this has been (even a little bit) helpful.

warm regards

Kristin