Hi all,

Jan put me on to the cohousing-usa discussion list, which has lots of people involved in cohousing asking questions and responding to a whole variety of topics.

I noticed this a couple of days ago, and thought it was good to think about in relation to our 'Getting Along':

>From Martie Weatherly, Liberty Village:

"I agree with Muriel that you cannot predict what issues will be contentious. What your community has to learn and what is a critical part of consensus decision making, is how to welcome conflict as a way of bringing up different points of view and creatively looking for ways to work together. The one thing you cannot allow in your group is someone who is nonnegotiably negative, with their personal point of view more important to them than what is best for the group. Consensus works very well when the group deals with each concern at a time and works together to come up with the best solution that everyone can align on (different from unanimity). We have a backup vote in our bylaws which we then took out of our Pathway to Consensus. In 20 years we have had 7 blocks, all resolved because we had no back door and had to listen to each other until we came up with a solution that worked for all. So welcome those contentious issues! That is where the creativity is going to come"

And a reminder from me - change inevitably produces conflict - not impossible conflict, not irresolvable conflict, but "iron sharpens iron" conflict, which can also produce energy and imagination for new solutions.

[I know this: I'm not always comfortable to sit with it when conflict is happening]

Anne