Kia ora koutou, I missed Thursday's meeting so have been catching up with emails & Susan's report on the evening's dynamics. As far as processing the emotions Thursday evening seemed to have produced, can I suggest two mindfulness exercises which I always find very helpful & clarifying? (if you left feeling neutral & unaffected you can skip this though!). But I'm hoping this will help us all feel clearer & more at peace about it all. #1 - recall the heated or more difficult periods of Thursday night: what emotion/feeling did you experience? Be as specific as you can ('upset' is not specific :). The more specific you can be, the more helpful you should find this exercise. (I've attached here a list of feelings, as I find this helps me to be specific & to name otherwise elusive emotions). #2 - now try to name what need in you was not being met or was being thwarted in Thursday's discussion (& the disagreement that swirled around the topic). Nearly all conflict or discomfort is about 'unmet needs' in us. For example - was it the need to be heard, to be valued, to be affirmed, for fairness?, etc etc. Again, I've attached a list (universal needs) which I find helpful when trying to name those things which I sometimes find elusive or hidden to me. As with #1, the more specific the better . You can apply this process also to any emails that you have found angst provoking or insomnia invoking. After you've done 1 & 2 above it is likely you'll feel a lot 'clearer' about what's going on in your head & gut, & with that, feel less angsty. But you might also be thinking, well ok, that was good, but what now....which is something Sander & I would be happy to talk more about sometime. The above is a sliver of the 'empathetic communication model' (NVC) that some of us are very keen on & would be happy to share more of when we get a chance :) :) (The above was the self-empathy component) Hope this has been (even a little bit) helpful. warm regards Kristin
"Don't waste your life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it". Ralph Waldo Emerson